As much as I like to believe that Veruca is this ridiculous character in a fictitious book, I have more in common with her then I'd like to admit. Recently I have been contemplating how fickle I can be in my relationship with the Lord. I talk to God and tell Him my heart but when I do not see the resolution I feel is right or the answers I feel I deserve, I go"all Veruca". I kick, I scream, I shake my fist. Can anyone relate? Now granted this is not a public display that takes place. It's not even a "lock myself in a quiet room" kind of moment. Instead, it is a "in my mind" kind of moment. But, it happens. And whether or not its in front of others or in the solitude of my mind...God knows it is there.
I have been raised better than this. I have been taught how to treat people. I was brought up to respect those in leadership and to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know how to behave. So, why then when I am talking to the one who deserves more respect than any other, more faith, more everything, do I deliver the least?
The contradiction that goes on between my words and my actions seem miles apart. I ask God to produce growth in my life and then gripe when the growing pains come. I pray for patience and complain about the trials that provoke it. I cry out for maturity and kick in my heals as experiences arise that ripen it.
This past month has been a bit difficult for me and I believe it's time to call it what it is; an opportunity to rejoice. Yes its been rough. Things have not gone how I wanted. Problems have arisen. Frustrations have reared their ugly heads. But, if my eyes were truly open, I would be rejoicing. Not that fake smile that people plaster on their faces to "fake it until they make it." Oh no. I am talking genuine joyful smiles.
Joy is not determined by circumstance. Joy is not defined by our surroundings but rather by WHO surrounds us. Regardless of what we are going through if we believe scripture, we know that God is worthy of our trust. The maker of the universe has our best interest at heart. In Hebrews 11 Scripture says that "... it is impossible to please God without faith." We know that faith does not just show up. Instead it is proven and built. And its result is deepened relationship. Even in our human relationships, our deepest faith lies with those who have gone through the gauntlets with us; those who have proven faithful in the hard times. God is gracious to us for giving us the hard times. He knows our hearts. These hard times are not for His benefit. Instead, these hard times are for us to learn how faithful God is to us. It is so that God's faithfulness becomes more then head knowledge. It becomes experience. Allow me to repeat myself: They are for our benefit!!
I keep a journal to help me remember this. When I see God accomplish big things in my life I write them down. When I struggle, I go to this list and remind myself that God has never abandoned me. My God loves me and He loves you too. He hears us when we ask for growth, patience, and maturity. And when God reaches out to us to teach us and prove to us these deeply important lessons, we need not go "all Veruca." We need to rejoice. Show joy. Because Our Heavenly Father has answered "Yes" to our prayers. Yes, times can be difficult and lessons are at times hard to get through but God is going to bring beauty. He is going to show Himself faithful and teach us what that looks like. And if I keep kicking and screaming I might miss the point. I might miss the golden ticket of opportunity because the chocolate bar came wrapped in a packaging I did not expect.
