Just about a month ago we welcomed an amazing little boy into our family. His joy has been a delight to us. Every day is a gift. Every song that comes on is worthy of being danced to. Every toy needs to be played with as he gleefully narrates playtime. His joy is contagious and uplifting. Jonathan has been the highest of highs.
Just over 3 months ago Elijah became chronically sick and no one seemed to be able to figure out what was wrong. He suffered and faked his way through the days not knowing the cause of his stomach pain. His pain has been my lowest of lows. God and I have spent a lot of time talking about timing, about "why now?", and about "when is enough, enough?". Doctors believe they have found the problem but healing will be slow and time is needed.
I have asked God many times this past few months if he has mistaken me for some type of superhero. I am no superhero. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I am living a roller coaster life. But I am also a child of the LIVING GOD. When life is too much I have had to place it all in my Father's hands and trust that He has a plan.
Jesus knew very well what the overwhelmed life was all about. He had so much potential to be overwhelmed. Crowds and crowds of people wanting him to heal, touch, care for, fix. Never a moment of peace. Never enough quiet. But Jesus had great boundaries. When he was overwhelmed he would separate himself from the crazy and spend time in the presence of his Father. There his heart would find comfort. There he was renewed.
As I have felt the overwhelming ebbs and flows of life I have found myself clinging to my morning quiet times. Studying God's word and sipping coffee in the quiet mornings before little feet hit the floor has sustained me. It has not taken away difficulties but it has given me hope to handle them. It has given me words to share with Elijah as he passes through these difficult times. It has given me peace in my heart.
I have also asked for others to pray for us. Our prayer team members have helped sustain us when we were too overwhelmed to utter the prayers ourselves. I have found peace at times when peace was inexplainable. I have found hope because others have gone before the throne and asked for it in our place. I have seen the body of Christ in action and it has been a balm to my heart.
So as I daily take steps forward in the life God has laid before me I will resist the desire to hide. I will claim the promises God layes out in His word. I will stop trying to hide in the carpet and begin praising God for the moments of joy that are the highs of my day. I will stop trying hide in a carpet and choose to trust in God's plan. God has never let me down. I know He has his best for me. I choose to see Him at work.
