Horse Bumps

Last week I went horseback riding.  It sounded like fun.  It looked easy and I honestly had forgotten I had aged 20 years since I had last ridden a horse.  My childhood friend had a horse when we were growing up and I had ridden in circles on that fella several times.  Surely this would be a cinch.  Besides, I have watched the entire series of "Heartland" and it looked pretty easy to me! So, we decided to take the family and some fellow missionary friends on a trail ride.  By the time it was over my muscles were aching, my back was all twisted, and I think I was a few inches shorter from all the bouncing!  And did I mention that my hair was a wreck?!  What I envisioned was not the reality.  Instead of riding off into the sunset I was bouncing like a bobble head down the trail.  It was not my finest hour.

                                                       

This adventure got me thinking.  Sometimes we glamorize things to a point so far outside of what the true reality is that we set ourselves up for failure.  We think things are going to look so regal and right out of a movie, and when the reality confronts us we are in no way prepared for what we find.  

I have also seen this reality in my own personal relationships.  Loving people is hard.  It's not as easy as being swept off your feet in the movies.  It's not as simplistic as a perfect best friend who always arrives on our doorstep with a cappuccino at the right moment.  And it's not as neatly wrapped up as a parent child relationship on the Hallmark channel.  Our media is displaying a fantasy world of relationships and marketing them as reality. I am not saying that movie and tv are evil...but I am saying we must differentiate reality and fantasy.  Unrealistic expectations are being placed on us without us even realizing it.  We need to wake up.  

Loving people is hard.  It takes work.  It requires time, realistic expectations, and a lot of grace.  The Bible gives us many great examples of how to love people.  Look at the life of Joseph.  He was sold by his brothers into slavery and yet when things came full circle he forgave them and embraced them.  Look at Moses who loved the Israelites even though they were noncommittal and winey.  And the ultimate example, of course, would be Jesus.  The God-man who lived the only sinless life and yet was murdered due to the lies and false testimony of those for whom he was giving his life.

                                       

So if these are the examples that scripture gives us of what love looks like why are we so easily convinced that love is supposed to be effortless? Easy is not typically worth much.  Sitting on a couch munching Cheetos is easy but it doesn't carry with it much benefit.  Cheating on a test is easier than studying but the lasting benefits are zilch. We live in a society where the focus is on making things easier.  We have instant meals, segways that walk for us, and passes that put us at the front of the line at Disney World.  (None of those things are bad...)  We are constantly being fed the lie that easy is best and what we deserve.  

Hard work has got to count for something and should count for a lot more then its credited with in this current day and age, especially in relationships.  Relationships take effort.  Its how we find value in them.  Have you ever noticed the difference between a child who has been given money versus that same child who has had to earn that money?  The child will have a lot more difficulty spending the earned money as opposed to the gifted money.  Hard work gives value.  But, its called hard for a reason. 

Hard means accepting the differences.  Hard mean letting people grow at their own rate and not at ours.  Hard means forgiveness when its hard to give.  Hard is knowing the difference between a "black and white issue" versus a "difference of opinion" issue.  Hard means saying your sorry... a lot.  Hard is hard! 

But relationships that have been through the ugly together tend to be deeper.  There is a history there that says "this is worth fighting for". There is grace.  There is love.  And when we love people we reflect Jesus.  It's what the entire Bible is all about.  Not that "everything goes" love but the "hard but worth it" love. 

As I got home from our horseback riding adventure I hobbled out of the car and got out the heating pad.  I was banged up and a bit bedraggled.  The day had not gone as I had planned and I had dirt all gritted in my teeth but one thing was for sure...when Lydia came up to me and kissed me on the cheek and threw her arms around my neck for a hug she whispered in my ear "This was the greatest day ever" I knew it had been worth it. This day love had been hard on my bones but easy on my heart.