Peeking between Fingers

Imagine if you will how a totally random person can go from calmly driving down the curvy road of Loja province without a care in the world, to screaming at the top of her lungs as she sees a huge tarantula carrying its dinner, a rodent, on its back across the street in front of her car. No, this is not a science fiction movie, this is my life!  Sometimes you see things that you wish you could "un-see".  Sometimes you feel like going through life peeking out from behind your hands that are covering your eyes.  Maybe it would just be easier not knowing. 

I have been feeling this way for the past several months.  Only wanting to peek out from behind my fingers because I am receiving what feels like too much information.  Too much information and not enough plan.  I don't work well like this.  Don't get me wrong, I like knowing what's coming!  But, I also like to know the "how" behind the "what".  I know that is how we see our faith built, but its really really hard!!

Let me explain.  BJ and I have been aware for quite a while that living in Catamayo and working in Chaguarpamba and Balsas (which are between 90-150 minutes away) was not an easy fit.  There have been good reasons for us to live in Catamayo.  The closeness of fellow missionaries, the ease of access to larger cities, and even a close by airport made it a great place to start. But, as time has passed and our regions of focus has narrowed it is seeming less and less reasonable for us to stay put in Catamayo. 

Driving anywhere from 9-14 hours a week just to get to the people we are working with is a bit hard to swallow.  Now that we know where our ministry is concentrating we want to be closer to these areas.  We strongly feel God calling us further west into the province of Loja, Ecuador.  We know Chaguarpamba is where we are headed.  But that's all we know!  We know the "what" but have very little information on the "how".  We know that living amongst the people whom we are discipling is the right decision.  We know sharing life together is wiser then showing up for a weekly meeting.  But what if that's all you know! 

This is our life right now.  We know when we return from Home Ministry Assignment (we will be returning to the states for a few months sometime in the fall and winter of this year) we need and want to move out to Chaguarpamba.  Now more than ever we are heavily relying on our faithful God who has brought us this far. 

We have begun our own investigation.  We checked out any possibilities for rental homes and came up empty.  Chaguarpamba is quite a small town and those who live there have lived there for generations.  Homes don't generally go up for sale or rent.  And so we are left covering our eyes with our hands and only peeking out from between the cracks of our fingers.  God is narrowing down the options but what's left seems quite impossible. All that is left is the opportunity to see God do the amazing. 

We are currently looking into purchasing property in Chaguarpamba and building a home.  In a way, we hope to stake a claim for God in this community.  We want the people to know that they matter to us and to God.  We want to live life with them and not just meet with them once a week.  We desire relationship.  Relationally it makes all the sense in the world and we are very excited about it.  Our kids have many friends in the town as a result of our kids club "bread and fish" that we help run every Saturday.  Financially though, that's where the eyes are covered and we are peeking out. 

We know God is in this.  We know it is all going to be for His glory.  But we also know that without you, our partners in ministry, none of this can come to completion.  We are currently saving up to be able to make a down payment on a piece of property.  As soon as we have the finances we will purchase land and begin construction.  This will be a personal expense.  Our monthly mortgage payments will be paid from our support account just as our rent normally is, but the initial payment is on us. We are leaning heavily on God to bring this to completion. 

 
We know that God's timing is perfect and that He reveals to us His plans in just the right timing.  Our faith is stretched and growing and we know that even when it hurts or is scary; His plan is perfect. Our faith helps us to peel back our fingers from covering our eyes and realize that it is not a big scary spider in front of us but rather God's best for us wrapped up in experiences that bring us closer to Him.  And, even though there ARE big scary spiders in Chaguarpamba (we are talking the size of a head of iceberg lettuce folks!) the fear of them can not outweigh the need of those who live there.  "Spider-pamba" here we come!