One of my
kids has a profound love of pronouns. It
drives me a little crazy. This child
will walk in the room and say things like, “When did he do it?” or “Where is it?”, and stares at us as if we are supposed to
magically understand what the heck they are talking about. On certain days when my patience level is a
bit depleted, I forbid this child to use pronouns. I have heard myself say over and over again, “I
can’t help you if you don’t explain yourself!”
It is at this point that I begin to hear my grandmother’s voice in my
head.
My
grandmother is quite the wise woman. She
is a lady of few words and so when she speaks people listen. When BJ and I first came to the mission field
we were not the greatest at writing support letters. We did not yet understand the concept of
team. Instead, we felt as though we were
a bother to people when we would ask for financial support of our
ministry. And so, one day my grandmother,
with our prayer letter in hand, looked me square in the eye and said, “Andrea, how
are people supposed to help if you don’t explain your needs!” I guess this problem runs in the family.
Over the
years BJ and I have come to understand team on a much deeper level. We now know that we are not self-sufficient. The type of work we do does not get done
alone. It takes a team. It takes people who are willing to open their
homes to allow us to share with them and their friends about the ministry. It takes people who are willing to give of
their finances. It takes people who are
willing to get on their knees and pray for us and those we work with. It takes so many people for us to do what we
do.
Recently I
heard those wise words of my grandmother echo in my mind. We are getting ready to come to the states
for six months and I have begun to realize that there is this list in my head
of things I wish people knew. Me being
me, I try to just push those feelings aside and put on my happy face because no
one wants to be around a mope. But then I
hear my grandmother, “Andrea, how are people supposed to help if you don’t explain
your needs!” So I am going to choose to
be brave here. I am going to be a bit
honest and shed a little light onto the subject. You might be surprised but let’s see how it
goes.
1. 1. We are weary.
We have been working non-stop with very few breaks. We recently moved to a new community while trying to prepare for coming to the United States. We have had a lot of changes. We are weary in heart because we
have lost a lot of team members in the past few months and goodbyes are
hard. We are weary in sadness because we
have lost 6 pets since January. We are
weary in physical stamina because without team the burden of work has been
immense. We are weary as a family
because with all of the chaos that has surrounded us and because of the
distances we have been traveling to do the work of 5 people; we have not had
much time together as a family.
2. 2. We are spiritually hungry. We live in a place that is in great need for
the gospel message. We love living here
in Ecuador and shining the light of hope into the darkness, but living in the
darkness is hard. Attending church as a family is difficult because services start when our kids go to bed. Deep
and mature believers are far and few between yet because we have only been working in this area for two
years. Two years is just not enough time for depth. We miss fellowship of believers and hearing a
sermon in our hearts language. We miss
being taught instead of always teaching.
3. 3. We are always pinching pennies. We come home to fund raise and update
churches/individuals of the work in Ecuador and our monthly support drops
down. We are told by some that they will
support us again when we return to work on our field of ministry. And so while we live in a more expensive
country to raise our funds for the next few years we generally have a lower
income. We travel a lot having to buy
gas, eat out, and stay in hotels. Those
things are not cheap but they are the only way to reach people with the news of
what God is doing in Ecuador. Its absolutely worth it but it is
stressful and expensive.
4. 4. Our kids struggle. Ecuador is their home. This time coming to the states will be Micah’s
first memories of the United States because when we left last time he had just
turned 2. People our kids don’t recognize
tell them how big they have gotten but all they know is that they are the only
one who does not recognize faces.
Everyone seems to know them but they don’t know anyone. And at times they just want to be shy. It takes them a while to settle in to these big changes.
5. 5. We look weird. We have come home with the clothes on our
backs and they are not pretty. We have
looked up youtube videos to learn how to cut our hair because the
locals don’t know what to do with our “gringo hair”. We have been wearing the same clothes for
over two years now and everything is faded, stained, and full of holes. We hope you won’t notice us shopping. We are the ones freaking out in the dressing
room. We don’t know what sizes we are
anymore and all the new styles look weird.
The overwhelming amount of choices is fun for the first few seconds but
then turns into a sea of too many choices.
Shopping is hard (just ask my family…they have seen this first hand and
can account for the disaster it is!)
6. 6. We want to talk about more than the
weird food we eat and the odd customs of Ecuador. We want to find people who are truly interested
in hearing about the amazing but difficult years that have passed. We want to tell about how many ways we have
seen God move and change lives. We want
to tell about the times that we thought there was no hope only to see God
change hearts, especially our own.
7. 7. We long to be a bit closer to normal. We know this will never happen completely but
if you ever see us doing something crazy please give us grace. For instance, when our eyes bulge out of our
heads because we ordered a large soda and expected to get a 3 ounce juice glass
and instead got a gallon jug….just smile and hug us. If you see us start to tear up at the gas pump
because in Ecuador a gallon of gas costs $1.48, just hug us tighter. If you see us jumping for joy in a convenient
store because our coffee we are pouring into our cup is not instant granules
and we just can’t hold in that kind of joy…jump with us. And finally, if we are in a conversation and
suddenly revert to Spanish and say things that completely make no sense at all,
just smile, hug us, and gently tell us it happened again.
8. 8. We are hording. We have exactly from the time we step off of
the plane to the time we set foot back on the plane to go back to Ecuador to
buy the next several years of supplies (all this on our depleted budget). We stock up on shoes, clothing, school
supplies, books, house hold items like sheets and towels, and even Christmas presents
for the years ahead. Imagine not being
able to buy shoes or clothes for several years! The cost of clothing is double to triple to the cost in the United States and the quality is quite poor. When you live in a country where you are a head and shoulder above the average person...clothing that fits is hard to come by. What we do buy gets old and fades.
Shoes wear out. Kids grow out of
clothing at alarming rates. But,
whatever we take is all there is. Our
bodies are not the same shape as Ecuadorian bodies. Our feet are bigger than Ecuadorian
feet. If we don’t take it we don’t have
it and there’s no running to “Walmart” to get what we forgot. We hoard like crazy!
This is our
reality. We love what we do. We can't imagine doing anything else. We love coming to the states and sharing
about what God is doing in Ecuador. We
love living in Ecuador and see God transform lives. We love being surprised at how much bigger
God is than we ever gave Him credit. We
love the depth we have in our relationship with God because we have been
stretched to our limits and then asked to take another step. We know God is good. We know He provides. But we also know that what my grandmother
says is true, “How are people supposed to help if they don’t know your needs?” So now you know. If you are like me and like a handy list, below are some very tangible ways you can help us or any other missionary
coming to the states for a home ministry assignment.
. 1. Invite them to your bible study group without asking them to lead it. Let them be fed and invest in their time of spiritual renewal before they return to a place where they can only feed themselves.
5. 2. Encourage them with your words. Let them know they are appreciated. Let them know you are on their team and praying for them. Let them know you read their emails and don’t forget them while they are gone. Let them know you see them.
1. 3. Buy them gift cards. Clothing stores, restaurants, gas cards, and
such are super helpful as they travel from here to there and everywhere.
2. 4. Buy them a trip to the hair salon. It will help them get a little closer to normal while taking out the extreme cost.
5. Send them on a date. They finally have family to babysit but no money for a nice dinner out away from the kids. They have not been on a date in forever!
3. 6. Invite them over to dinner. Let them share from their hearts about what
God is doing. Let them ask you the same
questions. Let them enjoy sweet fellowship.
4
There are
probably so many other things I could add to these thoughts. So many other great ways you can bless your
missionaries. Be creative and get
involved. Your missionaries will be ever
so grateful.
